At some point in our lives, each of us has paused to wonder—why am I doing this? Is it for myself, or is it for others?
When we peel away layers of ambition, effort, and daily striving, this question keeps returning: Whom am I trying to impress?
The Trap of External Validation
From childhood, we are trained to look outward for approval. A good grade impresses parents. A new achievement earns praise from peers. A promotion signals success to colleagues. Without realizing it, much of our energy goes into polishing an image for the world outside.
But here lies the trap—external validation is never permanent. Today’s applause fades tomorrow. The standards keep shifting. What seemed impressive once soon feels ordinary. Chasing approval becomes an endless race with no finish line.
A Childhood Dream
I remember my own dream as a child. A little “me,” climbing onto a stage, when my name would be announced, facing the lights, and hearing the sound of applause echoing in the hall. That clap—those approving hands—made my heart soar.
Though I used to get these dreams, when I look back at my childhood, I never did anything for applause.
As I grew, I noticed that the world's negative judgments affected me, and I slowly drifted to impress the people who would judge. This would soon become too heavy for me to be connected to my peaceful self.
I started to ponder: What made me not bother about approval when I was a child? And what changed now? The answer I received was: The non-judgmental, unconditional love that I had received at my parental home.
The Quiet Alternative
For a person to perform their best, each one needs a non-judgemental environment, which will turn the question inward: Am I impressing myself? Am I true to myself? .....in the sense of alignment.
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Did I act with integrity?
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Did I stay true to my values?
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Did I give my best in this moment?
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Did I grow, even a little, from yesterday?
This kind of self-accountability is quiet, but it is lasting. It does not depend on shifting opinions.
A Story to Reflect
I once heard of a painter who, after finishing his artwork, placed it in a busy market with a sign: “If you find any mistakes, mark them.” By evening, the painting was full of marks.
The next day, he put another painting with a new sign: “If you think something can be improved, kindly improve it yourself.” The painting remained untouched.
The world is quick to judge, but rarely ready to contribute. Which is why the true measure of worth cannot come only from outside.
Impress by Being, Not Showing
So, whom are you trying to impress? If it is the world, you may find yourself restless, anxious, and endlessly adjusting. If it is your own conscience, you may find peace—even if no one else notices.
And sometimes, the paradox is this: when you stop trying to impress others and simply live authentically, you end up inspiring more people than you ever did by chasing approval.
A Gentle Reminder
The world may or may not applaud you. But your inner self is always watching. Make choices that impress that witness within.
Because at the end of the day, the only lasting validation comes when you can look in the mirror and say: “I did not betray myself.”
